


Can you hear me camera man?

by HIPPIN_DIPPIN



Category: Midnight gospel, The Midnight Gospel
Genre: Gender-Neutral Pronouns, One-sided at first, Other, Smut, Twitch streamer Clancy au!, angst with happy ending, clancy gilroy - Freeform, sad shit time my bro’s, the ending of him dieing doesn’t happen.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24569218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HIPPIN_DIPPIN/pseuds/HIPPIN_DIPPIN
Summary: You watch Clancy’s streams but fall deeply in love with the fellow, denial eats at your heart slowly breaking you. But maybe it’s not so one sided.
Relationships: Clancy Gilroy/ reader, one-sided clancy gilroy/ reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Meeting eyes with the pink guy.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope y’all enjoy! Or something like that, since it’s an angst fic. Kind of a fic about mental illness.  
> (Don’t know if this is tmi but I’ve got clinical depression and wanted to vent out some things. So I don’t know what I’d call it but yeas! Going to therapy and taking care of myself the best I can so yee!)
> 
> (ALSO I KNOW YOU CANT TAKE DRUGS ON STREAM, you legit get banned. But he’s a smaller account so hopefully he gets away with it ;) )

“Hello! How y’all doing welcome back to another stream!” He yells out. 

His big smile showing on the camera, you don’t know why but this man has caught your interest from the start. His cheerful and laidback personality made you feel calm. 

You’ve been dealing with a lot lately your mental health slowly getting worst and finding this guy gave you some sort of hope. Maybe even a possibility that someone could love you? 

‘Naw..’ you thought.

You kept watching the stream trying to forget all about the negativity seeping into your brain. The struggle has been going on for a bit now, therapy has been helping you but sometimes it feels like your still alone.

This cute man in front of you made you feel a little less nervous about the possibilities of your future. Maybe you can be happy, even for a moment. Just take in that nice fresh warm feeling in you... feels nice right?

But back to what’s happening on your computer! He was talking to another streamer called “The president“ about drugs and stuff. You weren’t paying to much attention to what they were saying. You just watch that man named Clancy speak. The way his head nodded in understanding and curiosity. 

You didn’t know if your heart could take in anymore of this love. You feel your heart swelling up, you shouldn’t be feeling this you barely started watching him. This is happening to fast, you had to slow down you heart. You shut the computer quickly, getting attached to a person like that isn’t healthy.

This has happened before with you, finding someone who’s a little bit nice and kind and that made you feel whole from the start. You wanted that love, you’re very touch-starved. Love hasn’t been your best suit, people rejecting you or just not liking you. It hurt a lot but you make yourself believe they weren’t the right person.. or are you the wrong one? No! No.. that’s a bad train of thought. You worth means much more than how many people you’ve been with!

You take one final big breath and take out your credit card. You open the screen and the app he was streaming on was playing still. You quickly subscribe to him. 

“Woah! Thank you for the sub (username)! I really appreciate that! Your like my first sub. That’s flippin rad.” He gives the camera a soft smile.

You feel your cheeks warm up, he said that to you...to you. 

You type in the chat “no probs! Your a really awesome streamer! 🥺💗💗”

He looks at the camera and to what “the president” is saying and kinda eyes both the guy sitting next to him and the streams comments.

He nods at what “the president” is saying, putting his thoughts on the table. 

“Glad to have ya here than (username)!”  
Another one of those smiles.

It gets to the point of the stream ending, the whole stream was going well till the end. It made you feel worried for Clancy’s safety as “The president” brought out some lsd. “Ah shit... okay stream I’m gonna have to end it here! See y’all next time. Also thank you (username) for that sub! Love ya!” He quickly ends the stream.

You shut your computer, you take a deep breath. Your thoughts racing with him in your mind. Plopping back on your bed, you feel your body melt into the softness of you blankets.

You feel yourself drift away in to sleep.


	2. My dumb heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You whisper (basically dms) clancy a message and let’s just say you got dumb heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is based off jack stauber song! Which is also called “My dumb heart”

Tap tap...Tap tap...

Your looking at the blaring white screen in front of you. It’s the next day and his next stream doesn’t start for a few more hours.

You wanna whisper him so bad, or more rather you wanna say your feelings to him. You feel your anxiety raise into your throat. You feel like your being choked. 

You cough and feel yourself sweating a little to much.

You open the whisper for the 20th time this hour, your hesitant to even type it out. He’s probably busy and doesn’t need you bothering him. 

“Fuck it!” You seethe out to yourself, your done with all this waiting and wondering.  
________  
WHISPER  
________

(Username): hey! what’s up? ✌️😄

You feel yourself panicking internally...you shouldn’t have sent those emojis! He’s gonna think your flirting with him or something! You messed up you fucked it all up fuck! Why do you gotta do this all the time fuckkkkkkk......

You feel your chest getting a heavier with each breath. You close your eyes but you hear the noise that makes you wanna shit your pants. He responded.

_______  
WHISPER  
________

(Username): hey! What’s up? ✌️😄

(Spacemancyclancy): hi! Thanks again for you subscription. 😄

You look at your computer you take a sigh of relief. Rereading the messages over and over again. You feel a heaviness though...he responded with that? Is that all he care about? That you payed him money...I mean....of course this is how he lives, but it hurts because you thought you two had something. Your dumb ole body wants to hold him so bad!!!! Ughhh why do you have to feel love.... 

You feel like sighing is all you do these days..everything has been such a slow fucking walk. You wanna move faster but you feel held back by what? Who? You don’t know...maybe it’s better to not think on it...

_______  
WHISPER  
________

(Username): hey! What’s up? ✌️😄

(Spacemancyclancy): hi! Thanks again for you subscription. 😄

(Username): no prob! Your such a cool streamer! 💗

You send it, but WHY THE HEART?!?! Fuck fuck FUCK!! Oh gosh oh gosh what if he thinks your flirting or something what if he’s weirded out by your compliment?! what if- SHUT UP! Shushhhhh it’ll be fine..take a breath take a breath please.

_______  
WHISPER  
________

(Username): hey! What’s up? ✌️😄

(Spacemancyclancy): hi! Thanks again for you subscription. 😄

(Username): no prob! Your such a cool streamer! 💗

(Spacemancyclancy): Oh! Thank you! Your very kind. 🥺

YESSS YESS BITCH YEASSSSSSSS!!! You did it! You feel a sense of accomplishment, he liked what you said. Hell yea you did great. You close your computer. Your so fucking awesome look at you! Look at you!!! Good job you badass mother trucker!

You browse the internet, you got an 1 hour and 37 mins left before his stream starts. Get ready (y/n) get ready...


End file.
